As you may already know, my impossible goal this year is to lose 100lbs. I have a list of 25 actions I will fail at doing every quarter as I continue on my journey. I am going to write a recap at the end of each month to share the good, the bad, and the ugly. This is month #1. Why do I want to fail?
Acknowledging that I will fail takes away the fear of failure. I have always been afraid of failure. All that fear does is keep me stuck.
Failure is the path to success. If we’re failing, we’re moving. We’re taking action. We’re getting things done. We’re learning.
One of the actions I failed at is a target loss of 2lbs each week. By January 26th I was down 2lbs for the entire month. I started to freak out, knowing I was going to share this on my blog. I did the exact thing I teach my clients to stop doing. I stressed out about the number! I quickly spiraled down a rabbit hold of shame. My inner mean girl had the floor. It’s easy to forget all the things I have accomplished, and put my focus on all the things I haven’t done. I tend to go down that rabbit hole quite often. It doesn’t serve me. Not at all. My inner mean girl can get really nasty. She loves to tell me that I suck, and that I shouldn’t do things. She likes to remind me that it would be so much easier to watch Netflix with a bag of chips, or a pan of brownies, maybe both. With all of this negative chatter, I miss my wins; like the fact that I have completely stopped emotional eating, binge eating, and overeating. That’s kind of a big deal! I can remember a time, not so long ago, when I would visit the pantry numerous times throughout the day looking for something to munch on. It was not uncommon for me to dive into the kids’ snacks, or whatever we had around. That NEVER happens anymore. I honestly don’t even know the last time it did. Even with all the frustration, sadness, and stress I put myself through, I never once turned to food to cope. Not even a little. Not at all. For me, this is the biggest win. Instead, I have a schedule with carefully planned meals. I stuck with my protocol for the entire month. It’s a beautiful thing. My biggest takeaway this month is understanding that I can allow the desire for food without giving in, and without resisting it. Allowing the desire does not mean you eat the food. What it means is allowing yourself to want the food you're craving. Allowing it to have space. Accepting that you have an urge. When we resist the desire it only grows stronger. When we acknowledge what we want, the desire will start to fade. It's a beautiful thing to practice, and it really works. Here are a few of the other things that I learned in the first month of my 100lb journey:
Acceptance is key. Learning to like myself, exactly as I am, goes a long way.
It's important to appreciate my body today, and all that it does for me.
Talking to self with compassion it critical.
I can kick the mean girl to the curb, or at least put her on the bench for a while.
Food is fuel. It is not a friend.
Calories in and calories out is not an effective form of measurement.
It's not about how much I burn, but that I move my body in a way that feels like love.
What other people think doesn't matter.
My body will tell me when to eat, what to eat, and how much to eat.
Nothing is set in stone. I can make adjustments along the way.