What would you be thinking about if you weren't thinking about losing weight?

This is a question I've been asking myself a lot lately.

What would I do with that time?

When I actually give myself a moment to think and feel what that would be like I get goosebumps running up and down my arms. The word "nothing" enters my mind. There is instant peace. I feel space.

What would I do with all that space?

The possibilities seem endless. There's so much I could chose to focus my time and attention towards. Or, I could decide to do nothing. I could just be. No expectations. No pressure. No stress.

Can you try that on?

It feels delightful.

How much of your time is spent thinking about your body? Your weight? How you wish you looked? How much weight you want to lose? What size you want to wear? What you should eat? What you shouldn't eat? How often you should work out? How many calories you consumed? How many calories you burned? How much you sweat? How your clothes look? How you can hide your belly? How you can blend in, so you don't stand out? How you will ever get into those jeans again? How to avoid all the food? How to avoid seeing people? How to stay on track?

If I'm being really honest, I can tell you that the majority of my time in this life has been spent thinking some version of all of these things.

It's maddening.

It's a mind fuck.

It's been an obsession.

It's a total distraction.

I have been consumed with the idea of changing my body for a really long time.

All it has brought me is frustration and sadness. All it has cost me is a whole lot of time and energy.