The title says it all, doesn't it?
The number is gone. It had to go.
There is no longer a space for it on my path.
The truth is, I don't want to share this road with a number.
This might be difficult for some to grasp. It might not make sense. That's okay. If my message resonates, great. Please know that it's for you. If it doesn't, great. Maybe now is not your time to hear it. Either way, I will continue to talk about it. Our culture is obsessed with numbers, and with weight loss in general. We have some deep rooted beliefs that it's all about pounds, inches, and how many we lose. What my journey this year has taught me over, and over, and over again is that it doesn't matter. I don't have to be focused on a number to take exceptional care of myself. I'm not aiming to achieve a specific number to have a better life, or to be a better version of me. My weight has absolutely nothing to do with any of that. I don't want to be consumed with loss to capture my wins. Let's allow that one to sink in for just a second.
What I have really wanted all along is to stop suffering. For the most part, my mission is accomplished. Damn.
When I started this particular journey at the beginning of the year and kicked off my impossible goal, the number was still very important to me. I chose 100 pounds because it felt big, and impossible. I knew I didn't necessarily want to lose 100 pounds, but I attached that number to my goal nonetheless. That's what we do. We make the goals quantitative when they don't always have to be.
I've unraveled a lot throughout the year. I've come to a place of peace with food, with myself, and with my body. I still want to return to my natural weight, and I’m well on my way. The difference is that it's on my terms now, and that feels so empowering. Continuing to attach a number to this journey, and to my goal, feels off. It feels icky. Every month when I sit down to write this recap that number holds less value. It feels like something that's out of place, and doesn't belong. It might be because I never truly intended to lose 100 pounds. So, really, what's the point? I get the fact that it was an impossible goal, but the number has definitely overstayed its welcome.
I'm on a journey to reclaim my power and stop my own suffering. That's what Fat2Fierce is about. That's how I help my clients. It's not about tracking pounds or inches. It's about finding what works for you on your terms. It's about recognizing that food isn’t love, or a friend, and it doesn't have to continue to comfort you. It’s learning how to feel your emotions and stop stuffing them down. It’s understanding that you have a say, and you get to decide on everything. You get to develop your very own "meal plan", and a way of nourishing your body that helps it sing. It's knowing and believing that you are beautiful exactly as you are today. It’s realizing you don’t have to wait for someday later, once you’ve lost the weight; you can do all the things now. It's coming out from behind the curtain. It's standing in your glorious power, and knowing (really knowing) that you belong, and that you are enough. It's doing hard things when you didn't think you could. It's finding patience and trust for your body and yourself on your journey, not somebody else’s. It's understanding the tricks your mind plays, and learning how not to give in. All of this is about stopping the struggle for good.
All this time, this is what I've been doing for myself. All this time, this is what my clients have been doing. We are reclaiming our power. We are ending our suffering.
This is not about a number. It never was. This is about living Fat2Fierce. And so, the journey continues. The title changes. My Fat2Fierce journey is about unwinding all the bullshit that dictates what I should weigh, what I should lose, what I should (or shouldn't) eat, what I should (or shouldn't) wear, how I should (or shouldn’t) exercise, what I should (or shouldn’t) look like, what I should (or shouldn't) do. Let’s drop all the shoulds, shall we?
When I created my program at the end of last year I never imagined that I would be bringing it to life on my very own journey. That's exactly what has happened.
I am still going to write a recap at the end of each month to share the good, the bad, and the ugly. I'm calling this one "living Fat2Fierce". This is month #8.
Attaching a number perpetuates the struggle.
Forget the number.
Find your power.
I would love to show you the way.
Walk with me.
Here's a little exercise I would love for you to try.
Take a moment to think of the worst thought you have about your weight. What is it? Maybe its that you'll never get to your ideal weight. Maybe it's that you suck at weight loss. Maybe it's that you are destined to be fat forever. These were some of my top tunes. You pick yours. What is the loudest thought that plays over and over in your head? Once you have it, take a deep breath, close your eyes, and imagine that you can't think that thought anymore. We're playing here, and I want you to pretend for just a second that it is impossible to believe that thought. POOF, the thought is gone. Take your time. Sink into this. Play with the idea.
Then, ask yourself this: If you could no longer think that thought, what would be different for you? How would you feel? Who would you be without that thought? If you can't imagine it, that's okay. That's why I'm here. Schedule your free transformation session, because I would love to help you explore. xo