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From Messy to Magic: How to Change Your Habits and Ditch Self-Doubt

Writer's picture: Amy EnglishAmy English

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We all know habits are powerful. They can propel us towards our goals or keep us stuck on autopilot. But what happens when we try to trade bad habits for good ones? Let's be honest, it can get messy.


We set ambitious goals, life throws curveballs, motivation dips, and suddenly we're back in our comfort zone, questioning everything. Sound familiar?


Here's the truth: falling off track is part of the process. The real problem is the stories we tell ourselves about those slip-ups.  We get bombarded with the idea that changing habits should be easy, a light switch you simply flick on. But the reality is that it takes time and effort.


This post will explore why changing habits takes time, what goes on behind the scenes in our brains, and most importantly, how to stay focused and motivated even when things get tough.


Understanding the Science Behind Habit Formation


Our brains are like filing cabinets, constantly organizing information and routines. The habits we want to cultivate are like shiny new folders we want to integrate into the system. Our brains, however, tend to grab the familiar folders in the front – those autopilot habits like mindless scrolling or sugary snacks.


This is where the magic (and science!) of the Habit Loop comes in. It's a three-step cycle that underlies every habit:


  1. Cue: The trigger that initiates the routine. It could be anything – a certain time of day, a specific emotion, or even the sight of your comfy clothes after work.

  2. Routine: The actual behavior we perform in response to the cue. This is where we grab that sugary snack or scroll through social media.

  3. Reward: The positive reinforcement our brain receives after completing the routine. The snack gives us a sugar rush, or scrolling provides a distraction.


The reward strengthens the connection between the cue and the routine, making it more likely we'll repeat the behavior in the future. That's why those autopilot habits can feel so ingrained!


When we try to change a habit, we're essentially trying to rewrite that loop. We can hack this system to our advantage by establishing a new routine and reward system for our desired behavior.


Here's the catch: the brain takes time to adapt. Don't get discouraged if you don't see results overnight. Just like learning a new skill, changing habits takes practice.


Why We Fall Off Track (and How to Get Back On)


So, what happens when we start a new habit and life gets messy? We miss a workout session, reach for cookies, or hit the drive-thru. It's easy to beat ourselves up, but here's the secret nobody tells you: falling off track is normal!


Imagine you're building a new pathway through a field. You might take a detour sometimes, but the important thing is to get back on track and keep walking.


On top of self-criticism, there's another major obstacle: comparing ourselves to others. Social media portrays a highlight reel, and we see people who seem to have it all together. But everyone's journey is different.


Focus on your own path, celebrate your wins (big and small), and remember, you're not in a race.


Here are some tips to get back on track after a slip-up:


  • Celebrate small wins: Every step counts! Acknowledge your progress, no matter how tiny.

  • Reframe setbacks as learning experiences: Did you miss a workout? Think about what led to that, and adjust your plan accordingly.

  • Focus on progress, not perfection: We all have bad days. Don't let one setback define your entire journey.

  • Use the "SO WHAT?" strategy: Did you eat 12 cookies instead of 2? SO WHAT? Get back on track tomorrow.


Strategies to Keep Your Momentum Going


Here are some key strategies to keep your momentum going:


  • Don't wait for motivation to strike: Focus on building consistency instead. Motivation can be fleeting, but consistent routines with determination and discipline create lasting change.

  • Start small: Don't try to overhaul your entire life overnight. Take baby steps and gradually build on your successes.

  • Create a system: Make it easy and convenient to stick with your new habits. Identify existing routines that can act as cues for your new habits. For example, pair meditation with your morning coffee ritual.

  • Make it enjoyable: Find ways to make your new habits fun. Pair them with activities you already enjoy, or use rewards to reinforce the positive behavior.

  • Track your progress: Use a habit tracker or a journal to see how far you've come. Seeing your progress is a huge motivator!

  • Forgive yourself and get back on track: We all mess up. Instead of letting a slip-up ruin your long-term goals, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep going. Forgive yourself and recommit right away (instead of waiting until Monday).


Changing habits takes time, effort, and self-compassion.  By understanding the science behind habit formation and focusing on progress over perfection, you can rewrite the narrative around changing habits.  Transform your "messy" moments into lasting magic and build habits that empower you to reach your goals!


Here are some additional tips to keep in mind:


  • Be patient: Changing habits takes time. Don't get discouraged if you don't see results overnight.

  • Find an accountability partner: Share your goals with a friend, family member, or online community for support and encouragement.

  • Focus on the long-term benefits: Keep your eye on the prize! Visualize how these new habits will improve your life in the long run.


Remember, you are capable of amazing things.  With dedication and self-belief, you can create positive change and build habits that stick.  So go out there, rewrite your story, and embrace the magic of habit formation!


xo,

Amy

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