When Everyone Else Is Winning (And You Feel Stuck)

Let’s talk about that gut-punch moment.

You know the one—you're scrolling through Instagram or TikTok, and boom: someone’s massive success story hits your feed. Maybe it’s a 100-pound weight loss. Maybe it's a joyful “after” photo. Maybe it's someone finally feeling free in their skin, glowing and vibrant.

You feel happy for them—truly. But also… a little pang.

A whisper in the back of your mind:

“Why not me?”

“Why is this taking so long?”

“What am I doing wrong?”

If you've ever felt that, this post is for you.

And let me start by saying this: you’re not behind. You're not broken. You're just on your path.

The Comparison Trap Is Real (And Painful)

This week's topic was sparked by something I noticed in myself—just how easily those old comparison stories can sneak back in. I’d been feeling stuck, watching everyone else seemingly make progress while I was still in the thick of my own season of weight gain and slow progress. Once I realized what was happening, I shared a TikTok about it—the way we can start measuring ourselves against other people’s stories (or even past versions of ourselves). That post struck a chord, and I knew I had more to say. So here we are, diving even deeper into what it looks like to move through this season with awareness and self-compassion.

As mentioned, I’ve gained 20 pounds over the last year. It started during our family trip to Ireland and continued through the holidays. Since January, I’ve been focused on moving my body, eating in a way that feels supportive, and tending to my health without extremes. It’s slow. It’s sometimes frustrating. And it’s definitely not headline-worthy by social media standards.

So yeah, I felt that pang. That moment of “ugh, everyone else is winning, and I’m just… here.”

But here’s what I’ve come to understand: someone else’s win does not mean your failure.

It’s so easy to forget that when we're in the thick of it, especially when our goals feel far away. But that little voice that wants to use someone else's success as a weapon against you? That’s not your truth. That’s old programming.

You’re Seeing Their Highlight Reel (Not the Whole Story)

Social media is a beautiful tool—it can connect, inspire, and uplift. But it can also trigger comparison like nothing else. We’re constantly being served someone else’s “after,” their polished moment, their peak.

What you don’t see?

–The breakdowns

–The doubts

–The years it took to get there

–The internal work still happening behind the scenes

People share what they want to share. That’s not dishonest—it’s just human. But it’s also why it’s so important to remember: you know your full story. You live in the behind-the-scenes of

your life. And that means you’re comparing your full, messy, beautiful journey to someone else’s curated moment.

Not a fair comparison, right?

A Little Truth Bomb: Healing Isn’t Linear (And Slow Isn’t Failure)

We’ve been trained to think results should come quickly, neatly, and on a predictable timeline, especially in the weight loss and wellness world.

But healing? Growth? Reconnection?

It’s not linear. It’s not fast. And it’s not always visible.

Sometimes healing looks like slow progress. Sometimes it looks like buying jeans in a size up while you keep showing up for your body with love. Sometimes it looks like not bingeing even when everything feels hard. And sometimes it looks like pausing your scroll and choosing not to go down the compare-and-despair spiral.

That’s the real work. That’s the real win.

Try This: Make Your Own Highlight Reel

Here's a simple but powerful practice I started doing recently—and it’s been a game-changer.

Instead of focusing on what’s not happening fast enough, I started writing down the wins I already have. The moments my past self would be proud of. The victories no one sees, but that matter deeply to me.

Here are a few from my list:

• I’m still 100 pounds down from my highest weight ever.

• I haven’t had a binge since 2017.

• I don’t stress eat anymore.

• The food noise? Practically gone.

These are my milestones. They’re not flashy. They’re not viral. But they’re mine—and they matter.

So here’s your invitation:

📌Grab a journal, open your Notes app, or even talk it out in a voice memo.

📌Make a list of your highlights—things you’ve done, survived, shifted, or learned.

📌Ask yourself: What would my past self be proud of today?

Your brain might resist at first. It might want to remind you of what’s missing. That’s okay. Gently redirect it. Come back to your truth.

When You're in the Pit (a.k.a. the Dirty Diaper or the Island of Despair)

We’ve all been there. Those days where nothing feels like it’s working, where you want to throw in the towel, where the noise in your head is just too loud.

Here’s what helps:

• Pause. Breathe. Name what you’re feeling.

• Revisit your highlight reel.

• Ask: What else could be true right now?

• Remind yourself: I don’t have their story. I only need to live mine.

This work is ongoing. It doesn’t have a neat finish line. And while that can feel frustrating, it’s also incredibly freeing. Because it means you get to choose what success looks like. You get to define what progress feels like. You get to stop chasing the world’s version of “winning” and start living your version of peace.

You’re Doing Better Than You Think

So if you’re in that place where it feels like everyone else is winning, and you’re stuck—come back to yourself. Your story. Your progress. Your power.

Because you are progressing. You are growing. You are doing the work.

You're just on your path—and it's a damn good one.

Put your hand on your heart, take a deep breath, and say this with me:

“I’m doing better than I think.”

And you are.

xo,

Amy English

Emotional Eating Coach | Fat2Fierce®

fat2fierce.com | YouTube | Podcast

Empowering women to reclaim their power with food and find peace with their bodies.