top of page
Search

Breaking the Cycle of Urgency and Control—in My Body and My Business

Amy English

Have you ever noticed that the same patterns you struggle with in one area of your life tend to show up somewhere else, too?


That’s what I recently uncovered, and wow... it hit me like a ton of bricks.


This wasn’t a lesson I planned. It came from quietly observing how I've moved through both my body and my business, and realizing they’ve been mirroring each other for years. Once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it.


If you’d like to hear this story, I share the full, unfiltered version in Episode 91 of my podcast, Fat2Fierce®: The Confidence Chronicles. You can listen to it here while you read along.,


Recognizing the Cycle of Urgency and Control


Here’s what the cycle of urgency and control looked like for me:


  1. I’d start in alignment — whether it was with food, movement, or my business. Things felt good. I felt good.

  2. Then, something would happen to trigger the urgency. I’d feel like I needed to make things happen faster.

  3. Cue the control phase — tightening up, pushing harder, hustling more.

  4. Eventually, I’d burn out.

  5. I’d blame myself, criticize myself, and then… repeat the whole thing.


Sound familiar?


If you’re nodding your head, you’re not alone. This pattern shows up for so many of us, especially women who’ve spent years trying to fix themselves through dieting, perfectionism, or constant doing.

 

How It Showed Up in My Body


My first diet started at age 11. I spent decades on and off the diet hamster wheel: dieting, restricting, emotionally eating, bingeing, and then trying again.


When I began working with my first life coach in 2015, I didn’t plan to work on my relationship with food. But that’s exactly what unfolded. Through coach training and deep personal work, I learned how to rebuild trust with my body and let go of toxic diet culture.


From 2016 to 2019, I was in a beautiful state of alignment. I was listening to my body, feeling grounded, and finding peace with food.


Then in 2020, my blood pressure spiked. Fear rushed in. Suddenly, that old urgency came roaring back and said, "I need to lose weight, and I need to do it now".


So, I tightened the reins. I got restrictive again. I lost weight, and then gained some back. Then I did it again in 2024. Same pattern. Same exhaustion. Same cycle.


It wasn’t failure. It was the illusion of control.


How It Showed Up in My Business


When I started my coaching business around the same time, it was pure alignment. Clients came naturally. I was sharing my story, speaking from the heart, and people resonated.


Then the same thing happened. I wanted to grow faster. I hired high-pressure business coaches and chased every formula that promised success.


In 2021, I had my most profitable year. By 2023, I was completely burned out, making zero income and feeling disconnected from myself and my purpose.


Different arena, same cycle.


Seeing the Mirror


Once I saw the pattern — urgency, control, burnout, self-blame, repeat — it changed everything.


The problem wasn’t me. The problem was the cycle itself.


I had abandoned alignment for urgency. I’d traded inner wisdom for “shoulds.” And I realized that control doesn’t lead to empowerment, it leads to exhaustion and disconnection.


So, I started asking: what would it look like to choose differently this time?

 

Coming Home to Myself


Here’s how I’m working my way back both in my body and my business:


  1. Naming the pattern. Awareness is power. Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.

  2. Honoring the wisdom in the collapse. The burnout, the weight regain, the slow season; none of it was failure. It was feedback.

  3. Returning to emotional truth. Sharing from the heart, not performing or pushing.

  4. Rebuilding self-trust. Listening to my body. Asking what feels like a “yes.” Letting that guide my choices.

  5. Letting support be sacred. My husband’s support, my community, my resources — they’re part of the ecosystem that allows me to do this work well.

  6. Creating from alignment, not urgency. Before I launch or post anything, I ask: "How does this feel?", "Would I do this even if no one bought it?" If it’s a clean YES that I feel in my body, I move forward. If not, I pause.


These steps aren’t just ideas, they’re how I’m actively choosing to live.


Living from Alignment


As I step back into this space—sharing from lived experience instead of pressure—I feel more like me than I have in years.


If you’ve felt trapped in this same cycle with your body, with food, with your work, or even with your worth, please hear this:


You’re not broken. You’re responding to systems that taught you urgency was the only way.


But there’s another way... one rooted in self-trust, compassion, and alignment. That’s the path I’m walking now.


There are still moments when I catch myself wanting to fix it fast, especially when it comes to my weight. But then I remember: I’ve already lived that cycle. And I’m choosing something different now.


My body knows what to do when I listen.

And right now, she’s adjusting.

She’s not failing. She’s evolving.


As for my business, I’m anchoring it in truth. I’m letting my voice lead while the rest catches up. I’m creating from alignment, not obligation.


Ready to Break the Cycle in Your Own Life?


If this resonates with you, I’d love to talk. I offer a free 60-minute Connection Call where we can explore your story and see whether private coaching through my Fat2Fierce® program feels like the right next step for you.


Because you deserve peace with food. You deserve to trust yourself. And you deserve to be free in your body.


🎧 And don’t forget to listen to this full episode of Fat2Fierce®: The Confidence Chronicles for the raw, real story behind this post.


xo,

Amy


Amy English

Life Coach | Fat2Fierce®


Break the Overeating Cycle. Build Self-Trust. Be Free in Your Body.

 
 
 
bottom of page