What Your Go-To Food Is Trying to Tell You

One of the things I love most about coaching is getting to do the deep work. The kind of work that goes beyond what we eat and dives into why we eat it. This kind of exploration helps women uncover powerful insights about their relationship with food and their body. And sometimes, that insight starts with a single food. I call it your go-to food.

Your go-to food is the one that calls to you when you've had a bad day, or you want to celebrate. It's the specific food you think about when feeling stressed, frustrated, exhausted, excited, or any other human emotion. It's the food you reach for when you're having a "screw it" kind of day. And here's the thing: it's rarely just about the food itself. There's usually a deeper emotional story beneath it.

For me, that food was buttercream icing.

For years, buttercream was the thing I craved when I was having a rough day. I’d stop at the store, grab a birthday cake from the bakery, scrape the icing off, and eat it. I didn’t understand why it had such a hold on me until I began doing this deeper work myself.

Eventually, I realized the emotional connection tied to it. Buttercream reminded me of my grandmother, my Nani, who used to make homemade birthday cakes. She was from the side of the family I felt most connected to, the side that looked like me. The heavier side. In a world that told me my body was a problem, buttercream icing reminded me of comfort, love, and belonging.

It wasn't only about the sugar or the taste. It was about the story.

And I know I'm not alone. Having an emotional connection to a specific food is more common than you think.

A client of mine once shared that her go-to food was peanut butter. If it was in the house, she couldn’t stop eating it. We explored that together, and when I asked, "Why peanut butter?" she paused—and then remembered something she hadn’t thought about in years. When she was a kid going through big family changes, her dad used to make her peanut butter sundaes. That food became a source of comfort during the chaos. Decades later, she was still reaching for it to self-soothe, even though she didn’t consciously realize why.

That’s the thing about go-to foods. They’re not just about cravings. They’re often linked to powerful memories or emotional needs—comfort, safety, belonging, celebration, even rebellion. Without realizing it, we keep going back to them because our brain associates them with relief.

And when we try to resist our go-to food or replace it with a “healthier” version, we often stay stuck in the cycle. Nothing else quite scratches the itch—because it’s not really about taste. It’s about emotion.

Maybe you've been there—standing in the kitchen, trying all the “acceptable” replacements. You grab a protein bar, then a handful of almonds, and maybe even a piece of fruit. But nothing hits the spot. And before you know it, you're back with the original go-to food… and eating more of it than you intended.

I used to do this all the time. I’d reach for something else to scratch the itch, but that original craving never truly went away. Whether it was fat bombs or some Pinterest-inspired “healthy brownie,” it didn’t hit the same emotional note. Eventually, I’d circle back to the buttercream anyway—not because I lacked willpower, but because it was never about willpower in the first place. The more I tried to fight it, the more power it seemed to have.

When I started understanding why that food called to me, everything shifted. That awareness created space to make a choice—instead of defaulting to a spiral.

So, where do we go from here?

We explore it—with curiosity and compassion.

This isn’t about giving up your go-to food. It’s about reclaiming your power with it. When you begin to understand the emotional connection, you start to create space. You can pause. You can make a conscious choice. And that moment of choice is where the transformation begins. Instead of feeling like you’re spiraling or out of control, you start to feel grounded. Empowered. Intentional. You may still enjoy that food—but now it's on your terms.

Here are a few questions to help you explore your go-to food:

• What’s the food you typically reach for when you’re feeling emotional?

• What’s your earliest memory of that food?

• What does it remind you of?

• Who is connected to that memory?

• What feeling are you trying to create or avoid when you reach for it?

When we ask these questions with curiosity instead of judgment, we gain understanding. And from understanding comes healing.

The truth is that awareness puts you back in the driver’s seat. And when you can enjoy food with intention, it no longer controls you. It becomes part of your story—but not the thing running the show.

If this resonates with you and you want support navigating your relationship with food and your body, I’d love to talk with you. You don’t have to do this work alone. Head over to AmyEnglishCC.com to book a connection call. Let’s explore your story together.

🎧 Want to hear the full story? Listen to Episode 67: What Your Go-To Food Is Trying to Tell You on Fat2Fierce®: The Confidence Chronicles.

xo,

Amy English

Emotional Eating Coach | Fat2Fierce®

fat2fierce.com | YouTube | Podcast

Empowering women to reclaim their power with food and find peace with their bodies.