Rebuilding Self-Trust: One Small Promise at a Time

If you’ve spent years following meal plans, counting macros, or trying to control your body through willpower, the idea of trusting yourself might feel completely out of reach. I get it, I was there, too. Self-trust isn’t something most of us were taught, especially when it comes to food, hunger, and our bodies.

It's important to remember that you’re not broken. If trusting yourself feels hard, there’s a reason for that, and it has nothing to do with willpower.

This is part two of my three-part series on breaking the overeating cycle. Last week, we talked about why willpower doesn’t work. (If you missed it, read or listen here.) This week, we’re exploring what it means to rebuild self-trust and why this is a crucial part of healing your relationship with food and your body.

If you enjoy listening to the podcast, you can catch the latest episode here.

Why Self-Trust Feels So Hard

It makes sense, especially if you’ve spent years following external rules with meal plans, calorie counts, and food trackers. Many people are not used to trusting themselves. Diet culture has conditioned us to believe that hunger is something to ignore or fight, and that the “right” answers live in someone else’s plan or program.

It’s no wonder so many of us feel disconnected from our body cues. We weren’t encouraged to listen to our bodies. We were taught to override them.

For me, that disconnect was so deep that I couldn’t recognize physical hunger, let alone honor it. I remember being on a juice diet that made me feel physically ill. It was so bad that my husband stepped in and said, “This is enough.” And yet, at the time, it didn’t occur to me that my body’s distress was something I should listen to.

Shame Isn’t a Motivator

Another message we absorb from diet culture is that shame will keep us in line. That if we’re hard enough on ourselves, we’ll finally stick to the plan. But shame doesn’t build self-trust. It destroys it.

When we beat ourselves up after a binge or “messing up,” we’re not motivating change. We’re reinforcing the idea that we can’t be trusted. But here’s the thing: nobody is born hating their body or doubting themselves. That self-doubt? It’s learned. Which means it can be unlearned, too.

Self-Trust Is Built, Not Given

So what is self-trust?

At its core, self-trust is the belief that you can listen to yourself, honor your needs, and make choices from a place of care rather than control. It’s not about always getting it right. It’s about having your own back, even when things don’t go as planned.

I’ve been experimenting with this in my own life, especially recently. For July, I decided to take a break from processed sugar, not as a restriction or punishment, but from curiosity and care. I wanted to see how my body felt without it. And to my surprise, it’s been easy. I’m not white-knuckling it. I don’t feel deprived. I’m fine without it.

That’s not something I could have said years ago. Sweet treats were my go-to for stress, emotion, and even celebration. The idea of giving them up used to trigger panic. (I once cried during a webinar about quitting sugar.)

But now? Now I can say no to sugar and still feel at peace. That’s not willpower. That’s self-trust.

What Self-Trust Looks Like in Everyday Life

Self-trust doesn’t show up in grand, perfect gestures. It shows up in the micro-moments:

• Choosing what to eat based on how you feel, not what your app says

• Resting when your body is tired, instead of forcing a workout

• Saying “I’m done” even if there’s food left on your plate

• Speaking to yourself with kindness after a binge, instead of spiraling into shame

• Reflecting with curiosity: “What happened?” instead of “What’s wrong with me?”

I see this shift happen all the time with my clients. At first, it’s hard to notice what your body wants when you’ve been taught to override it. But as we practice, those small moments add up. The muscle of self-trust gets stronger.

Start with One Small Promise

Here’s the practice I recommend: make, and keep, one small promise to yourself each day.

That’s it. One thing. Here are a few examples:

• Drink an extra glass of water

• Pause before a snack,

• Go to bed earlier

• Commit to five minutes of gentle exercise

The idea is choosing something small enough to feel doable, and meaningful enough to build consistency.

Self-trust is like a muscle. You don’t build it overnight. But every time you follow through on one of those promises, you’re sending a powerful message to yourself: “I can trust me.”

And when you have a misstep? Because you will... we all do... meet it with curiosity and compassion. You can say, “I’m learning.” Then ask, “What happened?” instead of "What's wrong with me?".

Self-Trust Isn’t Built in the Mirror

Let me say that again: Self-trust isn’t built in the mirror.

It’s built in the micro-moments of your life. When you:

• Choose to listen to your hunger

• Decide not to push through pain just to burn calories

• Respond to a binge with kindness instead of punishment

• Stop outsourcing your power to apps, plans, and programs, and start coming home to you.

What Changes When You Trust Yourself

When self-trust takes root, everything changes. You’ll second-guess yourself less. Your habits become more consistent because they’re coming from you, not a set of external rules. You feel more peace in your choices, and more freedom in your body.

And most importantly? You remember that you can count on yourself.

A Gentle Invitation

If you’re still struggling with self-trust, please know that you don’t have to earn it back. You haven’t lost your chance. This isn’t about going backwards—it’s about moving forward, one step at a time.

So here’s your invitation:

What’s one small promise you can keep to yourself today?

Not to be perfect. But to practice trust.

Want more support with building self-trust and breaking free from food rules? My private coaching program is designed to help you reconnect with your body, your cues, and your confidence. Get more information and book a connection call here.

xo,

Amy

Amy English

Emotional Eating Coach | Fat2Fierce®

Fat2Fierce | YouTube | Podcast

Empowering women to reclaim their power with food and find peace with their bodies.