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You’re Not Broken: The Truth About Comparison and Self-Worth

Amy English

Have you ever been scrolling through social media when someone shares their latest success (especially a weight loss post) and you suddenly feel that familiar pit in your stomach? That quiet voice that whispers, Why can’t I do this? What’s wrong with me?


Yeah. I’ve been there too. In fact, just last weekend, I caught myself in that exact moment.


I was on Facebook for something totally unrelated (the band parents page for my kids' school), and before I even got to the group, I saw a post that popped up. Someone was celebrating their weight loss. I smiled for them… and then, that sinking feeling hit.


I call it “compare and despair.”


It’s sneaky. It shows up fast. And for a second, it can make you feel like you’re failing.


But this time was different.


The Power of the Pause


In that moment, I caught myself before I spiraled. I paused and said, Whoa, hold on a second. What are we doing here?


And in that split second, I reminded myself:

👉 I can be happy for them without making it mean anything about me.

👉 Their journey has nothing to do with mine.


That reminder shifted everything. Instead of beating myself up, I thought about what I’m proud of on my own journey.


I don’t stress-eat anymore.

I don’t binge.

And I’ve maintained nearly a 100-pound weight loss—even with the 20 pounds that came with menopause.


That’s healing. That’s growth.

And it deserves celebration.


I realized I don’t have to live in the negative spiral anymore.

I get to choose a different story... one rooted in pride, peace, and self-compassion.


A Lesson From the Bleachers


Later that same day, I was sitting at our first marching band competition of the season. Behind me, two students from another school were watching the performances.


One of them kept saying things like, “Wow, that band is amazing. I wish I could play in their band.” And then, without missing a beat, his friend said, “Dude, comparison is the thief of joy.”


I wanted to turn around and high-five him. Because… yes. That’s it.

Even some teenagers get it.


When we compare, we lose sight of our own growth, our own magic, and our own joy.

And joy is exactly what we deserve to protect.


My Story: How I Got Here


I started dieting when I was about 11 years old.

My body was bullied, mocked, and labeled from the time I can remember.

Food became both my comfort and my punishment.


I tried every diet under the sun.

And in 2013, I lost 100 pounds.

Two weeks later, I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and in the chaos of fear and stress, I gained 30 pounds back almost immediately.


That moment taught me how fragile “control” really is.


A few years later, in 2015, I hired my first life coach. Not because I wanted to work on food or my body, but because I was trying to figure out what was next for my career. But what I found was something much deeper.


Coaching helped me see how I operated.

It helped me understand how much of my life had been shaped by shame, fear, and trying to “fix” my body.


Working with my coach cracked something open in me. For the first time, I learned to listen to my body and how to start trusting it.


That experience changed everything.

By the end of our work together, I knew: This is what I want to do. This is what I’m meant to do.


So I trained with Martha Beck and later with Susan Hyatt in her BARE program.

I learned how to heal emotional eating patterns, rebuild self-trust, and love my body... not just tolerate it.


And the work I was doing for myself became the work I was called to do for others.


Coaching Through the Midlife Shift


Today, I coach women in perimenopause and menopause because this season brings a whole new set of challenges. Hormonal shifts, emotional ups and downs, and decades of diet culture collide in a way that can make anyone feel like they’re losing control.


But here’s the beautiful truth: This phase of life can also be a time of deep empowerment.


When you feel safe in your body and free around food, everything changes.


My clients often tell me that coaching with me feels like talking to a good friend who just gets it. Someone who knows when to listen, when to nudge, and how to make space for laughter even when the topic feels heavy.


Because let’s be real, this work is deep. It touches patterns we’ve carried for decades. And yet, healing doesn’t have to be heavy all the time. It can be freeing, joyful, and yes, even fun.


The Truth About Comparison and Self-Worth


Comparison is a thief.

It steals your peace, your progress, and your power.


And it’s everywhere, especially for women in midlife.


We’re bombarded with images, advice, and expectations. We’re told to shrink, to fix, to hustle. And when we don’t measure up, we start to feel broken.


But here’s what I need you to know: You’re not broken. You’re becoming.


Your journey is yours.

Your pace is yours.

Your healing is yours.


And remember this the next time you’re scrolling through someone else’s highlight reel: You’re not seeing their full story. You’re seeing what they choose to share. Their journey isn’t a mirror; it’s just another story unfolding.


You Deserve Peace, Trust, and Freedom


If you’ve been stuck in that compare-and-despair spiral, wondering what’s wrong with you, please hear me when I say this:

There’s nothing wrong with you.

You’re not behind.

You’re not broken.


You’re human, and you’re healing.


And if you’re ready to explore what life could feel like without the food noise, shame, or constant comparison, I’d love to talk with you.


We’ll explore what’s been keeping you stuck, what you most want for yourself, and whether coaching is the next step for you, just like it was for me all those years ago.


You deserve peace with food.

You deserve to trust yourself again.

You deserve to be free in your body simply because it’s yours.


🎧 Want to go deeper? Listen to Episode 89 of Fat2Fierce®: The Confidence Chronicles


xo,

Amy


Amy English

Life Coach | Fat2Fierce®


Break the Overeating Cycle. Build Self-Trust. Be Free in Your Body.

 
 
 

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