I have tried every product under the sun. You name it, I tried it.
I spent thousands of dollars on different drinks, shakes, pills, programs, and even spent a week at weight loss camp. I have worked with trainers, busted my ass in the gym, and participated in short lived challenges to lose 20lbs. Some of it worked, but only temporarily.
I have cried myself to sleep, wondered what was wrong with me, and spent countless nights searching for the next best thing to help me drop the pounds once and for all.
I have been crueler to myself than the people who called me names. There have been a lot of people who called me names.
I have sat on the floor of my closet in a full-blown meltdown because nothing fit, and everything made me look fat. I have missed out on major life events because I had nothing to wear.
I have counted calories, points, and squeezed my food into little containers.
I have binged, and purged. I have starved myself. I have listened to doctors criticize my weight, and push me to have bariatric surgery. I have fired those doctors.
All of this has consumed so much more time than I care to admit.
We’re talking 30+ years.
Every single attempt to lose weight was outside of myself.
I never looked inside for the answer.
I didn’t know I could.
All of those temporary solutions assumed I didn't have the power on my own.
I had the power all along. I just needed some help to find it.
I accept myself, and my body, at my weight today.
I’m learning how to love myself now. I’m creating the confidence that I so deserve.
I didn't love my body before, that's why I put it through so much torture.
I wanted to be thin, but at what cost? I still didn't love who I was.
The biggest lesson I have learned: if you don’t love yourself now, it won’t matter how much weight you lose. If you don’t have the confidence now, it won’t matter what you weigh. It’s the same you, just a smaller version.
I’m losing weight without any of the gimmicks mentioned above. I'm losing weight because I finally believe in myself and my power. I am losing weight because I’m learning how to love myself, and my body.
I have often wondered why I went through all of this.
Now I know why.
It is my mission to share my story and help other women do the same.
To anyone else who is struggling, I see you.
You are not alone.