When I was on vacation a couple weeks ago an interesting question popped in my head.
I'd like to share it with you today.
Here it is:
If I removed other people from the equation would I still want to lose weight?
It's a valid question.
That question triggered more.
If I removed other people's opinions, comments, looks, and negativity would I still want to change my body?
In other words, who am I changing my body for? Am I really doing it for me?
Is it for the doctors who have shamed me about my weight?
Is it for the assholes who called me nasty names?
Is it for the guys who didn't want to date me because of my size?
Is it for the girls who didn't want to hang with a bigger girl?
Is it for the sales person who made fun of my body when they didn't think I was looking?
Is it for the woman who screamed "fat ass" from her car while I was walking across the street?
Is it for all of these reasons, and others, that are outside of myself?
These are the real hard questions I'm exploring right now. They give me pause.
If I take away other people's opinions, what am I left with?
Who, or what, am I doing this for? Is it for me?
If I push all the comments and opinions off to the side, what do I want?
I want to show up as the best version of myself no matter what my size.
I want peace.
I want freedom.
I want to live my life.
I want to help others do the same.
How differently would you show up if you didn't think about what other people are thinking?
What if you could take other people's opinions and put them off to the side?
What would you do? What wouldn't you do?
What if other people's opinions of you had nothing to do with you?
What if other people's opinions of you had everything to do with their opinions of themselves?
It took me a while to really grasp and understand the whole reflection thing. I finally get it.
Imagine that you are a mirror. A walking, talking, breathing full length mirror. When people see you, they see a reflection. They see their reflection. The way they choose to treat you is a reflection of how they see and treat themselves.
Interesting, isn't it?
When was the last time you saw a truly confident human being tear down another?
I'm talking about someone who has real confidence - not fake, arrogant, condescending bullshit disguised as confidence.
Think about it.
It doesn't happen.
It's always the people who are obviously insecure, or secretly insecure (which is almost always obvious) who are poking fun at, hating, and trolling others.
So......knowing all of this, if you could move all the comments and opinions to the side, What would be different for you?
I'm asking myself the same.
In the meantime, I'm going to continue treating my beautiful body with the care and respect that she deserves.
After all, that's really what this journey is all about. xo